Stained Glass Recluse
by Aespren
Summary: Like a work of stained glass, she had intricately crafted every piece of herself individually to form a pleasing design for others, but in the end a single person had shattered her.


Her ache was finally coming to an end. It was slowly drifting away from her; drifting the same way her family had, drifting the same way every consistency in her life ever had. She was no longer a slave to a goal thrown on top of her. She could forget now; forget everything.

From the very first memories residing in her mind, she could picture her father training her. It was really all that she could remember of him. She knew that as a child she had loved him a lot… but thinking back on it, she found it hard to remember why. She had no memories of him that did not consist of him forcing her up at the break of dawn in order to learn combat. The only other memory she had of him was the most painful one – the final one. She could finally let go of it.

She could forget the winding and peril-filled journey that she had taken by herself just to reach this place. She had nearly died many times, and many times she had wished that it would actually happen. She had to sleep in trees in the daytime with the hope that the titans wouldn't find her. Then she travelled at night, not knowing where she was going half the time, and spending the other half hoping she wouldn't run into a waiting titan.

She could push away the memories of the two years she had spent living on the streets as an unwanted refugee. The scarcity of food and the starvation she had suffered; the lack of shelter and those cold nights she had spent working on a farm just to survive were no longer important.

She could forget the three years of training she had spent just to get into the military police – which in the end had not mattered. Nothing mattered anymore, and it was bliss.

Her entire life had been based around this one mission. The purpose of her entire life had been thwarted within forty-eight hours of her putting it into practice. Like a work of stained glass, she had intricately created every piece of herself individually to form a pleasing design for others, but in the end it had been shattered within a moment.

Now she was alone. She always had been, really. All those that had seemed to be on her side had been a lie. Her mother had never been around her, for reasons she had never directly been told. Her village had only liked her because of a fabricated destiny they had weaved for her. Her father had trained her how to fight, how to protect herself. He had held her close and told her that no matter what he would be on her side, but even that wasn't true. The dead couldn't take sides.

Then there had been the titans. When she had been captured, they had helped her to escape. They had come when she had called for them, and had freed her from the trap. However, even they weren't on her side. Like a bear scaring away a feeding fox, it was only doing so in order to take the kill for itself. She was the prey feigning death, waiting for her moment to run.

Then finally there was the training corps. They were the closest thing to having someone on her side. Despite how cold she was to them, they had still tried to include her repeatedly. They had even tried to include her in on a promise they had made; when they grew older they would get together one day and talk over a good drink. She had turned them down though. There was no point in her making promises that she likely would be the destruction of.

Within the corps though, there had been one member who had stood in the way of her veil of solitude. Armin Arlert, a student not even in the top ten, who everyone had expected to die during his first survey corps mission, had somehow managed to lure her towards a web of entanglement.

He had created this elaborate plan in order to confirm if she was a titan. He could have just had the military police go underground, and grabbed her then, but that wasn't what he wanted. Instead, he had approached her and tried to win her trust. He had talked to her, led her around town, involved others, then when the time came posed her with a simple test of her loyalties. All she had to do was go underground with them. She could have walked through to the other side, without anyone batting an eyelash. Even if they did apprehend her underground, they would have no definite proof against her. There was no way to forcefully prove one was a titan, and Annie knew that quite well.

However, even at the end, she approached further towards the centre of the net, knowing that he was the one who had weaved it. As she approached, he had still yelled at her, saying it was not too late. They both knew at that point it was only a fictitious notion.

There remained only one question which had yet to receive an answer, if she had known it was a trap from the start, why had she let herself become entangled in the first place?

It was precisely because no one was on her side. As hard as others may try, she couldn't allow them to do so. Armin was no exception. Despite all the goals piled on top of her by others, there was only one that she truly lived by; protect those not strong enough to protect themselves. If she had done what Armin had been urging her to do, then he would have become part of her side. She would be taking advantage of the weak, thus breaking her own rule.

He knew she was a titan, had known it from the moment he had called her name in the alleyway. She was a titan, and walking through a tunnel would not make him think otherwise. No matter what she did, he was too smart to not know the truth.

If she were to go along with his plan though, he would only become weaker. He would believe that "good" people actually existed in this world. Going through the tunnel was not just an act of proving she was not a titan; it was a way for Armin to judge who she really was.

Despite all the horrible acts she had committed, he would take her side, which would be his own downfall. He would try to protect her, just like he had protected Eren. They both knew it was an impossible goal to remove her sins, but he would do his best anyway to lessen the blow upon her. He would protect her, and hurt himself in the process. He would be hurt by those around him for protecting a murderer, but also hurt when he found out the prey he had trapped in his fangs had been feigning death the entire time. She would betray him in order to obtain her own objectives; because she had no other choice.

That was why she was destined to rest in solitude.


End file.
